by Jon Ellmann | Head Coach
For those of you that don’t know me; I’m a big picture dreamer, I can focus on one task at a time with laser like focus, I get jacked about huge challenges, I like the grind, I care deeply about the people that are in my life, and I’m a blind optimist. I also get distracted or lazy from time to time, I can be impatient, I can project my thoughts/emotions instead of listening intently, and I am absolutely horrible at saying no!
I just created this list of personality traits and deficiencies in a virtual meeting that our program just participated in called MINDfulness Mondays. The session was led by our very own Will Brydon who in addition to coaching volleyball owns and operates PEAK by Brydon. Side Note — We are absolutely blessed to have such an amazing staff here at UW-Oshkosh.
The overall objective was to help us stay in what our program calls a state of Relentless Pursuit in these trying times. The first question that was asked was “WHO do you want to be during these circumstances and beyond?” We also identified our WHY or as we call it in our program, our MISSION. But first the WHO… In order to get to that answer we had to take inventory of who we were and who we wanted to be. My WHO statement was that I wanted to immediately experience a paradigm shift and take pride in continuing to grow/evolve while within the walls of my home. On the surface this makes sense. We are all stuck at home. If we want to keep learning or get stronger — We have to do it at home, right?! That’s totally true now but would it still be true for you if we were in our normal routines? Perhaps.
Let’s look at our student-athletes for a minute. Where do you think they get better at volleyball, learn and grow, get stronger, or improve their social skills or EQ? We would probably say the gym, classroom, weightroom, and in social settings. As coaches where do we sharpen our skills, learn and grow, or work on improving our level of professionalism and EQ? You might say in the gym with our teams, in professional development settings, and in the hallways of our workplace.
Culturally we associate development and improvement with what we do and where we do it. I know that I would think about those concepts almost nonstop while working on campus and then when I drove home I would start to unwind and when I crossed the threshold into my home it was then time to simply focus on being with my family and recharging. Moment of honesty… Have you ever had a bad day and then taken it out on those that mean the most to you? I don’t mean chucking chairs across the living room Bobby Knight style. I mean just not quite having the same level of patience or maybe not going out of your way to do something extra special for your roommate, loved one, parent, or kiddo. Why do we give our best while at work, school, practice or social event and then let our guard/focus down when we get home?
Guess what friends? Our homes are now our gyms, our classrooms, our libraries, and our offices. Let’s take that ambitious mindset and set it free within the walls of our homes. Let’s make it a habit to be in a state of Relentless Pursuit while working and studying from home. Personally, I want to take this opportunity to really listen more. I want to put myself out there and be more vulnerable for my wife Jackie, my daughter Molly, my son Cooper, and even my dog Chase. I want to remain curious and learn more about each member of our family. I want to learn what really drives us and find ways to be a better communicator and supporter. I want to be more present. I want to really listen and not just hear. Most importantly, I don’t just want to continue to grow and evolve while we are in the middle of a pandemic. I want to make my home the place where I can be the most vulnerable and experience the most growth from now until the end of time.
Our homes will be the most consistent thing we have in our lives. We may move countless times but home is always home. Our jobs will change. We will graduate. It’s a sad reality that at some point our playing days will come to an end. I think it’s natural to learn these skills on a court or in a classroom but at some point in your life those things come to an end. What better way to honor what you learned in the arena of sport than to transfer it to the most important arena — Your home. Those people you are stuck with right now, they are your forever teammates. Through thick and thin you’re stuck with them.
Don’t look this time as a restriction on your life. Look at this time we have as a blessing. Please know that I by no means am saying that COVID-19 is a blessing. This is perhaps the hardest thing that our world will have to work through in our lifetimes. I’m simply a blind optimist with a WHY. I want to motivate people to relentlessly pursue what is possible for them by helping them acquire the tools they need to work towards becoming the absolute best version of themselves. It’s my hope that they will in turn motivate others to do the same.
Right now my WHY lives at home. What is your WHY and where does it live?
You have an opportunity to reframe your situation in a way that makes right now perhaps one of the most profound segments of your life. Make the most of it.
